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I woke up at 6:00 to the sensation of my water breaking. I wasn’t entirely sure, as my water didn’t break on its own for Ernest’s birth, but I had a feeling. My husband Curt and our cat were sleeping peacefully in our bed, and our two-year-old Ernest was asleep in his crib downstairs. I got up to use the bathroom and what I saw pretty much confirmed it! We had to get Ernest to daycare, so I told my husband what had happened and that I would call the on-call midwife soon. I wanted to keep things as consistent as possible for Ernest, so I had my coffee and helped him get dressed. Eventually my husband took over and I called the midwife, who was about to finish her shift. She suggested that I call in about 30 minutes to speak with the next midwife on call, who happened to be the one I had just seen the day before for my 39 week appointment.

Curt left to bring Ernest to school, and I called Aubrey at the Minnesota Birth Center. She said itsounded like my water had indeed broken, and asked me to come into the birth center so she could confirm it. I told her I was going to wait out rush hour and would be there by 10:30. I have no idea what I did for the next few hours! I may have taken a bath. I probably double-checked our hospital bag, which was packed pretty extensively after my 48 hour labor with Ernest. I think I also called our doula, Emily, and let her know the update.

Eventually I made my way to the birth center in St. Paul. The leaves were gorgeous - I especially remember driving over the river and seeing them just starting to peak on the St. Paul side. Such a beautiful time of year for a birthday! Once I got to the birth center, Aubrey (and maybe a birth assistant in training?) confirmed that my water had broken. I had also shared when I called that the color was a sort of greenish brown, which turned out to be meconium. Aubrey calmly told me that due to the meconium, I would need to make my way to the hospital relatively soon to be started on Pitocin. This was honestly a bit of a surprise, as I hadn’t realized I was a candidate for Pitocin until my appointment the day before. Aubrey had also said at that appointment she would be on call, and maybe I’d see her the next day! I laughed it off and said I doubted it; I imagined this baby (we called him Little Star) would take his sweet time and come at least a few days after his due date, if not later.

Anyway, I took a few moments to absorb the new information - I was officially in labor! I texted my husband “are you ready?” and explained to him the plan. I called him on the way home to see what he wanted for lunch - no way was I heading into labor without eating! Especially since my first labor had taken two days. I knew I shouldn’t take too long, so I grabbed some Burger King. I remember laughing as I brought it home, thinking I would probably throw itup anyway (I didn’t!).

During this time I felt very calm and relaxed. Two days ago, on the 9th, my husband had recorded a “VBAC visualization” from a book. I’d listened to it once, maybe twice more. I had read dozens of stories from the same book, and taken Liz’s VBAC class through birthED. I felt really excited and hopeful about the possibility of having a vaginal birth for our second baby boy.

It wasn’t super warm out, but it was nice enough that we ate our Burger King outside. If I was going to be in the hospital for a long time, I wanted to get some fresh air before that. Eventually, we headed to United Hospital in St. Paul, where the Minnesota Birth Center has privileges for their VBAC hopefuls. We got checked in and directed to our room, arriving around 12:30. At our doula’s suggestion, we asked about the water birth room but were told it was in use. This was fine since I wouldn’t be able to deliver in the water anyway - just labor there, due to the hospital policy that VBAC patients cannot have waterbirths in their hospital. I took a selfie in front of the info board in our room, and sent it to some family to let them know things were getting started.

After the nurse (who was also a Nicole!) got all of our information, I was hooked up to the Pitocin drip. I still hadn’t had a single contraction, and by now my water had broken nearly seven hours ago. Nicole explained that they would start the Pitocin at a very low dose, and it would slowly be titrated up. Things were super chill at this point. I asked if they had any coloring books, and they did! I colored a page with oak leaves and acorns as I started to feel mild contractions, probably starting about ten minutes apart and lasting for 15-20 seconds. Curt put on Norah Jones’ debut album, which we used to listen to together all the time back in college. It was perfect.

I’d heard during the virtual tour for United that there was an Integrative Health Specialist there during the week, so as soon as I remembered this I asked our nurse if they could come by. I’m so happy it worked out! Jill was amazing. She asked me what I was currently dealing with, and what might be the most helpful. She ended up doing some acupressure points, Reiki and aromatherapy. She used clary sage essential oil, which smelled amazing. It was around the time of that treatment, maybe 4:30, that things started to pick up. I think my contractions began coming more like every four to six minutes, and lasting more like 30-60 seconds. I hadn’t hadmy cervix checked yet, so Aubrey suggested it and I agreed. What she said surprised me a little: I was one centimeter dilated. I did my best to not dwell on it - I’d read in one of the VBAC stories that a woman had gone from four centimeters to ten in 30 minutes! I knew fast laborswere possible, and I had a feeling this time wouldn’t go nearly as long as my first one.

Things continued to progress after my lovely treatment. I was laboring on the bed (on my side?), and I believe Aubrey let me know that I was experiencing high blood pressure and they needed a urine sample. However, because of the meconium, they would have to get the sample via straight catheter instead of just peeing in a cup, due to the chance of contamination in the sample. Contractions were definitely ramping up at this point, and after at least one attempt at the straight cath, I had no idea how they would get it without me having some sort of pain relief.

I think it was around this time - 6:00 or so - that our midwife suggested we call our doula. Curt called her and she said she’d be there as soon as possible from Robbinsdale. In the midst of increasing contractions (I think they were still increasing the Pitocin at this point, not sure) and straight cath attempts, I asked about nitrous oxide. I was told it would be there as quickly as possible. Soon after that, I’d made my way to the bathroom - maybe I’d forgotten I wasn’t supposed to pee? Anyway, I got ‘stuck’ in the bathroom for what felt like a very long time. I remember crouching in front of the bathtub, each contraction seeming closer and longer than the last. I think I said something like, “I know I need to move, but I just can’t!” I think I was doing a lot with intentional breathing, and doing my best to relax in-between each contraction, but it was getting harder to do that.

Eventually, I made it back to the bed with help. I got on all fours and had my arms draped over a birthing ball. I believe Emily arrived around this time, and I became vaguely aware of her voice speaking to me in calming tones, giving me encouragement. The nitrous (finally!) arrived, and I started using it kind of conservatively, breathing in and out with plenty of ‘clearing’ breaths in-between. I think this is around when I started swearing pretty loudly, ha! I was also moaning and making plenty of sound - doing my best to ‘open’ my mouth and my voice and envision the same happening in my bottom. I’m a singer, so this came pretty naturally to me.

From there, I ended up on my side on the bed again. I asked if it was possible to use too much nitrous - there was what seemed like a resounding “no!” from the room, and I started breathing it in in earnest. I took very few notable breaks from the nitrous between that point and Zeb being pushed out. I’m not sure how long I was laboring extremely hard - maybe 30 minutes? The nitrous helped a lot, especially in that amount. I was certainly aware of the intensity of the contractions, but I believe my body was able to relax more which was so, so helpful. I remember Emily behind me, putting plenty of pressure on my low back while she provided lots of verbal support. I’m sure Curt was there too, but I honestly don’t remember at that stage. After a long time in this position, inhaling so much nitrous oxide, I started to think I was done. I couldn’t continue any more like this, probably only 5 or 6 centimeters (in my head), likely with hours to go. I shared this with my birth team, that I was ready for an epidural, and Aubrey agreed. She if she could check me first to see how far dilated I was.

“Are you ready? You’re ten centimeters. You are having this baby.”

Rosie the nurse was right in front of me, and I’m sure my eyes got absolutely huge. I could not believe it. She nodded, never breaking eye contact with me, and it sank in. I was fully dilated!!! This never happened in my first birth, but I didn’t have time to dwell on it because soon after Ireceived that information, I started to feel a ton of pressure in my rectum. I’m sure I pooped a little, maybe a lot. I know Curt was behind me by this point, holding my top leg up. I’m really grateful we’d heard about pooping in labor, since it didn’t happen the first time. I’d alreadygotten over the fact that it would probably happen if I was able to birth vaginally. As we say all the time to our toddler, ‘no big deal!’

Emily was asking me about the pressure, and once I confirmed it I was encouraged to begin pushing. I still had the nitrous mask glued to my face and had no plans of removing it! This is where my years of yoga practice really came in handy, as I was able to take long measured breaths of the nitrous in and out while also starting to push. I think I was also extremely high on adrenaline from the fact that it was looking very likely that I’d be able to deliver Zebediah naturally.

After a little bit of time, they asked if I wanted to feel his head. I did, and my mind was blown. It was SO encouraging and awesome to feel him right there, ready to be born. They also asked if I’d like a mirror, which I envisioned to be a little hand-held mirror for some reason. They wheeled it over and it seemed gigantic. I don’t think I was able to see anything, due to the angle and my focus on pushing.

I’ll never forget the feeling of pushing him out of my body. It was absolutely incredible. We have a fantastic video soon after he was placed on my chest, and I’m saying “we did it! We did it! I love you!” I thought it was weird that I didn’t see his face right away, since I did with Ernest’s c-section. I was happy to just snuggle him for a few minutes, and eventually I got to see Zeb’s precious face. Curt was right there, and we were all cuddled up in the dim room. Everyone seemed so happy and full of energy. Rosie the nurse said something about how hard I had worked, and she’d seen a lot of births. There was a lot of laughter and a lot of joy. I feel so happy and grateful as I write this and remember the details.

I’d debated the Pitocin drip to assist in delivering the placenta, but it didn’t feel like a big deal in the moment so they eventually turned it back on. The placenta was delivered without complication, and I got to see it. Incredible!! I wasn’t having it encapsulated this time, so I said ‘thank you’ to it and they took it away.

Eventually they took Zeb to clean him and check him out, and Aubrey informed me that I’d torn (two second degree tears, I think) and she would be stitching me up. I think Emily may have said I was totally fine using the nitrous for this part as well. Honestly, the stitching was harder than the pushing. It took close to an hour and I was almost exclusively breathing nitrous.

However, I healed really well and I’m so grateful to Aubrey for her expertise and taking her time. Zebediah was born at 9:15 p.m. (after maybe seven hours of active labor?!), and by the time we were ready to order food it was probably after 10:30. Emily helped us order Pizza Luce (mac and cheese sounded like heaven), and I think I tried to get Zeb to nurse during this time, too.

I was extremely grateful for successfully having a VBAC. It was discovered by the next afternoon that Zeb a heart defect, and we were going to be transferred to Children’s Hospital that evening. Because I had birthed him vaginally and was recovering well, I was able to accompany him to Children’s in Minneapolis from St. Paul (via non-emergency ambulance). The next few days were far from easy, but I’m so thankful I was able to stay with him in the Cardiovascular Care Center before and after his procedure. A huge thank you to Aubrey, my midwife for delivering him safely. Thank you to Rosie the nurse for all of the expert care she provided throughout my intense labor. Thank you to Liz, for distilling so much wisdom and humor into a half-day class on VBACs that made me truly believe I could do it. Thank you to Emily our doula, for her calm vibe, encouraging words and physical support. I feel so much gratitude to our family and friends, who never questioned our VBAC ‘plan’. And thank you to my husband Curt, who was behind me every step of the way, from when I decided I wanted to try for a VBAC until our sweet boy was in our arms. I never could have done it without my incredible birth team. Like our two-year-old says, “I did it!!”